Jonathan,
When I first met you I was very excited, but also very nervous. Would you like me? Would you accept me as part of your Dad's (and your) life? Would we be friends as you grew up?
I loved you from the start, but I think it took you a little while to like me. Sometimes you would push me away from your dad when we would go places or sit on the couch at first. That hurt my feelings, but I still hoped that one day we would be closer.
Then I got sick. When we went to Wisconsin the first time after I got out of the hospital you were so very helpful. You helped me walk, helped me carry things, and even joked with me so that I didn't feel so bad. I loved you even more after that because you let me.
My family (like Grandma and Grandpa from Wisconsin) think that you are AWESOME too. They love you just like I do and are so happy that you and your daddy have come into our lives.
We had a good summer at the horse camp didn't we? It was a really nice experience and you got riding lessons! I think you actually preferred the work to riding the horses that summer, but it was really cool to see you on those horses. You looked so grown up that summer.
It seemed at first when we told you that you were going to have a little brother or sister that you were going to get angry. You had lots of questions and when you finally got brave enough to ask them I think having a little brother was something you started to look forward to, but only a little. Remember when we called him the little alien?!?! I had a really fun summer with you before he got here. I loved going to the waterpark and hanging out. Even our trip to Wisconsin (in the car, ugh!) was really great. The St. Louis Zoo and the arch were such fun! Remember when we were trying to get pictures at the arch and I had to lay on the ground with my big fat belly!! We had to chase the car to catch your daddy then as he zoomed by! It was crazy fun!
When the baby arrived you didn't hold him unless your daddy made you. He was scary to hold on to wasn't he? He was so very tiny and you didn't yet know how his being here was going to effect your life. You still thought all he was going to do was cry and poop, right? You have since become such an AMAZING big brother. You started out letting me know if he was crying or waking up in his crib those first couple of weeks, to holding him and entertaining him, to now actually reminding me if you hadn't gotten to hold or carry him on the weekends we see you! He turned out not to be so bad after all for you!! I can't tell you enough how proud I am that you are his big brother and that you are such an awesome guy!
I know that sometimes you get frustrated with me because I ask you to pick things up (especially your room) or find some other thing to do except the playstation. I really want your room to be safe for you. I really want to have opportunities for us all to do things together. I really want to help you become independent and responsible. That is why sometimes I seem like I'm being harsh, but I promise I'm trying to be better. I think this last weekend we had a really awesome weekend even though we just hung out around the house.
I guess I really just want you to know that I am so thankful to have you in my life. I'm so glad that I met your Dad so that I could also meet you!
Love You,
Stac
